One of those days!
I’m at loss! My patience is gone! Send help! My 5 year old is almost 6, and he’s testing every boundary. He argues, and complains, and corrects me. I tell him “Pick up your shoes,” and he responds “They’re not shoes, they’re flip flops.” I’m sure his desire to be exact about everything, will be some amazing skill for his future job, but at this point it makes me want to tear my hair out. I know we’re here to encourage you, but today I’m just trying to keep my head above water, and not throw my own tantrum. I have all these great skills I’ve learned through counseling and when I use them they work, but some days I’m just too tired or too stubborn to use them. Next week I’ll be sharing all the great things I’ve learned and how nice life is when I use them, but I want to start this week by admitting, that those of us at A Mom Revolution are right there with you in the trenches. We’re struggling and tired and we don’t have all the answers and even when we do, we don’t always use them. There are hard days, and days I just want to put myself on a timeout in my closet, at 7:17am. There are mornings when I wake up and just dream about going back to sleep. There are days I text my husband, begging for prayers for myself and my kids. There are days when I tell God that I’m sure He made a mistake by making me these children’s mother. There’s no way I’m equipped for this. I’m sure that someone else could be doing a better job. I’m sure that their lives would be better if they had a mom that did more crafts, or played more soccer with them in the backyard, instead of staying inside to fold laundry. It is in those moments of desperation, self doubt, and self loathing, that I remember a few things.
Have you heard the idea that God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called? 1st Corinthians 1: 26-31 “(26) Consider your own calling, brothers. Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. (27) Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, (28) and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, (29) so that no human being might boast before God. (30) It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, “Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.”
He chose me. He sent me these children. He has a plan for them and for me. He sent them to me so that I could raise them and care for them. He wants to heal them and heal me. And my guess from what I’ve experienced so far, is that we are complimentary in our weaknesses and strengths. We can call each other on, challenge each other, and grow personally and we can also bang against each other’s wounds and loose our minds, depends on the day and our attitudes.
In the end, no one I know has grown up in the perfect home, with the perfect parents, and yet they’re functioning adults and for many people I know, they’re trying to be the best version of the people God made them to be.
Counseling has given me tools and a understanding of myself and the reasons I behave the way I do. With continual trial and error, I am becoming a better version of myself, a little more each day. And when I don’t use the tools I’ve been given, days are harder and struggles are stronger.
Today has been a hard day, shoot this week has been hard and maybe even this past month too, but with the Lord’s grace, my effort and a nice hot shower, tomorrow can be a better day! How do you face these trying seasons in your motherhood?
Copyright 2018 Courtney Vallejo. All Rights Reserved.
Image Credit: Copyright 2018 Karen Padilla. All Right Reserved.