"Pray, Hope, and don't worry."-St. Padre Pio
Motherhood, for me, can often be summed up in one word: WORRY. I knew that I would be concerned for my kids, but I never knew the amount of worry I would experience. Am I reading to them enough? Tortilla chips for dinner is acceptable, right? Should I be talking to them more? Should I allow more time for silence? Am I affectionate enough? Am I too affectionate? Did I discipline them right in that situation? And at night the worry increases because I have more "time" to think about those concerns. Are they cold? Are they too warm? Do they need fresh diapers? Should we look into Montessori school? Do they know I love them??
Yeah. Welcome to my brain. When Oliver was first born I was constantly checking to see if he was breathing, often waking him from his naps, or at night, unintentionally. It can be so intense when we allow those worries to steal our peace, our joy, and our sleep. I began wonder if I was the only one that was constantly worried and anxious about failing at being a mom, then I started to ask other moms if they struggled with the same thing. Imagine my surprise when most moms I spoke to struggled with worry on some level. Many of them had great advice, and ways to work through that concern. It was in a particular conversation with a close friend that I realized what the root of the issue really was. I was listing all the things that I worried about on a daily basis and she said, "Yes. I worry about all of those things too. But you know, we aren't really worried about any of those things, the struggle is that I don't trust God with my children. That TRUST is what I need to work on." It was like a switch was flipped in my brain and I realized that I lack so much trust in the Lord and His plan for my babies. I am working every day to let go of those worries more and more and to trust that the Lord wants only good things for my children. All I can do is love my children to the best of my flawed abilities, and the Lord will make up for what I lack. I know this because He knows my weaknesses better than I do, and He STILL gifted me with these children.
Something small that has helped me very much is this short prayer that a friend gave me to pray when my worries keep me awake at night. "Jesus, I place my children in your hands." SO easy and it has helped me to sleep better.
Motherhood is going to naturally bring some fear, worry, and anxiety, I think it is just a packaged deal. If you have somehow escaped that, I need your prayers and inspiration! But if you are like me, and still wrestle with those challenges, be assured that I am praying for you! God has blessed us with the opportunity to be mothers, and all we have to do is pray, hope, TRUST, and not worry.
Copyright 2018 Diana Cantu. All Rights Reserved.
Image Credit: Copyright 2018 Karen Padilla. All Rights Reserved.